"Theeere she is..."

Miss USA


"Theeere she is...."



Miss Congeniality

Check out these curves

I am very happy to report that Miss Texas recently won the Miss USA beauty pageant and will go on to compete for the title of Miss Universe. You might be surprised to learn that here in Abu Dhabi they have also had a beauty contest. Contestants in this beauty pageant have all the features you might expect like long legs, large eyes, pouty lips and lots of curves. However there is one crucial difference ... these competitors are camels.
Hamad Safia al-Mari, a renowned camel trainer and the top judge at the event, says that he picks a winner according to a secret formula devised over a lifetime of working with the animals. He compares the task to that of selecting a perfect wife!, of which he has three. . (Who said romance was dead???)
After eliminating contestants that show signs of mixed breeding, Mr. al-Mari will examine everything from the camel's poise to the color of its teeth. "The nose should be long and droop down, that's more beautiful. The ears should stand back, and the neck should be long. The hump should be high, but slightly to the back."

In a culture that covers women from head to toe in black polyester, this is how you have fun in the desert.

Qibla and IKEA

What is a qibla you may ask? Another game played by Harry Potter at Hogwarts? Actually, qibla means "direction" and it indicates which way Mecca is. The qibla is used for prayer of course, but also for islamic burials and the slaughter of animals. In all these instances, the head must face Mecca (Saudi Arabia). In Abu Dhabi, we are so far east, that our qibla faces west towards Mecca. I can't see Mecca from here so it looks like the qibla is just pointing to IKEA. To make it easy everyone just just face the Swedish superstore, it is so big it cannot be missed.

You will find qiblas everywhere. On walls, in drawers, on floors and even on the movie screens of airplanes. You know you are a flight to the Middle East when the guy in the seat next to you is praying in a different direction every time the plane banks right or left.

This wraps up our discussion of Islamic Pillar #2 - prayer. We still have 3 more pillars to go, but I will save those for later in the summer when I have more time to do all the extensive research that this blog demands of me.

Coming up next....a camel beauty pagent

Ablutions

"Cleanliness is next to Godliness" may be an ancient Hebrew proverb, but the Muslims have made it their own. When the faithful pray they don't just hop on their prayer mats...first they must perform wudu, or washing. A Muslim prepares for prayer by ridding the mind of distracting thoughts by cleansing the body. The six body parts included in wudu are hands, mouth, nose, face, arms, head and feet. Mosques usually include an ablution room with fountains so wudu can be performed. If you are not in a mosque, you are still expected to comply with this rule. In homes and offices, the restrooms will have water hoses for this purpose. David has learned not to go near the restroom at work before prayer time as there will be water all over the floor from the ablutions. I've even learned that rule on airplanes when on Middle Eastern flights. Not sure how they wash their feet in that tiny sink, but they do. If you have no running water or the water is not clean, you are still expected to comply with this rule.

The following is a demonstration of how to do wudu of the mouth if you are without running water....enjoy!

Happy #23 Christie

I really am not happy about my children getting older. I would like to have frozen them several years ago, but they just weren't onboard that scheme. It seems like just yesterday when my ankles looked like they belonged on an elephant which was okay because my weight was probably approaching pachyderm levels. All was forgotten when I got to see this little face 23 years ago. Christie, you have grown into such a lovely young lady and we are so proud of you. We hope you have a wonderful birthday and we will celebrate soon when we get home.

Love, Mom and Dad

minarets and muezzins

The most important thing in real estate is location, location, location. When looking for a place in Abu Dhabi it is the same except the location you worry about is the location of the minarets. You can have the most beautiful flat with a lovely view of the ocean, but if there is a mosque nearby, you will be blasted from bed each morning about 4:45 am. When they say "call to prayer" they don't mean a whisper.

A minaret is the tall tower next to the mosque where the muezzin (guy that does the yodeling) calls the faithful to prayer. It doesn't matter how many minarets a mosque has as long as there is one. When sheikhs and sultans build mosques they usually try to up the number to show how important they are. The Sheikh Zayed mosque that has just been built was originally going to have 6 minaretes. When the old guy died, they cut it back to 4 as they had already spent $2.2 billion and needed to cut costs.

I like to think of a wizened old guy climbing the stairs to the top of the tower 5 times a day to do the calling, but the reality is that it is probably done by computers and sound systems or a giant iPod or something. One thing for sure, the volume control knob is on "extra loud". It has to be because the first call to prayer comes around 4:45 am when the muezzin informs the sleeping faithful that "prayer is better than sleep." The next call to prayer is about 10 minutes later, like a snooze alarm. Then you have noon prayer, "wake-up from your siesta" prayer around 4:00pm, time for supper prayer around 7:00pm, and "time to go out and mingle and cause massive traffic jams prayer" around 8:00pm. These are approximate times as it all depends on the moon of course.

Pillar #2 - Call to prayer

Okay, blue-eyesight is ready to move onto the next pilar of Islam now. Praying five times a day is a biggie here in the middle east. The first time I heard the call to prayer was in Istanbul about 12 years ago. I was buying a "sapphire" ring and the jeweler was giving me an "extra special deal" when I heard the wailing from the towers above. I fully expected the jeweler to whip out the prayer mat, fall to the ground and get after it that very minute. However, he kept right on showing me rings. I'm sure there is some sort of "Hey, I'm in the middle of ripping-off an infidel here" clause to excuse the neglect of prayers on such an occasion.

I have to admit that I enjoy hearing the call throughout the day. Similar to church bells in a way, it is everywhere you go and helps you keep track of the time. I may be in theGap shopping for my low-rise, boot-cut, curvy fit dark wash jeans with my Starbucks skinny mocha frapachino when I hear the call. An ancient yodel cutting through all the western influences that surround me. I'm reminded of where I am and it ain't the Houston Galleria.

Harem Hijinks part 2

You didn't think that just because blue-eyesight did a public service April Fools blog, we were finished talking about the prophet's wives now did you? Actually, the wives loved to play tricks on the poor boy and Aisha was the best at it.
Once when Mohammed (PBUH) was getting ready to marry another, rather beautiful wife, Aisha hatched a plan. She pretended to be helpful and volunteered to assist the bride get dressed for the wedding. She advised the young woman to "play hard to get" on her wedding night because the prophet loved a challenge. That night the prophet was appalled to find himself shunned and sent the new wife packing the next day. I'm sure Aisha had quite a giggle over that one.
Mohammed (PBUH) had about a dozen wives, give or take. Here is a fun fact...two were Jewish and one was Christian. The multiple marriages created quite a harem-scarem and any small incident created a gossip-fest. One wife brushed the hand of a male dinner guest as she handed him a plate of food...another one (Aisha) went off into the desert with a handsome soldier to "look" for a lost necklace and a third caused all kinds of controversy because her first husband had been an adopted son of the prophet. The prophet began to have an increasing number of divine revelations on how to achieve tranquility in his own household...how handy. Finally one day, Mohammed(PBUH)had had enough. Lets just say that (PWNUH)*. He declared that from now on all his wives would be secluded behind a curtain (hijab). So began the tradition of the veil that continues today.

*peace was NOT upon him


I got most of my information on this topic from the excellent book, Nine Parts of Desire by Geraldine Brooks who won the Pulitzer Prize a few years ago. I highly recommend it if you want more information on the subject of women in the Middle East.

French Fried Fools

No sooner has the Easter Bunny hopped away, then here comes the April Fools. How did the "silliest day of the year" come to be you may ask? Why with the French of course. Rewind to 1592 and the introduction of the Gregorian calendar. The New Year is now going to be on January 1 instead of April 1. Most of the French people were happy to adapt, but others found it more difficult. (Kind of like when they were told the universal language would be English.)
Ever since then on April 1, those who had stuck to the old calendar and celebrated New Years on that day were dubbed "fools". People started playing tricks on the non-converts by getting them to believe in something that wasn't true. I'm sure that is how escargot came to be..."hey fool, snails are yummy, try some..."