Don't do the math

The heat is here. Sheik Zayed's petunias have wilted, the camels have gone to the oasis, and the Germans are still at the beach !!!

I have a special formula that I use to figure out the temperature when it is displayed in Celsius.
Okay, I know that 0 degrees is freezing (learned that one in Norway) and I figure that 50 degrees is roughly the temperature on the face of the sun. So when I read that it is going to be 42 degrees today, then I'm thinking HOT. This technique can also be used to figure out your weight in kilos or how many hundreds of dollars you paid for that pizza in Norway or in any other situation where the exact number is too painful to contemplate.

4 more days until I'm back in the land of my beloved Fahrenheit.

I never thought I'd be going back to Texas to cool off in the summertime

Apsley House and Adult ADD

Picture: Napoleon with Nike in Apsley House

I honestly started out with a Middle Eastern theme to my blogs. Somewhere along the way my Adult ADD has taken over and now I've got the Duke of Wellington on my mind.

I've been reading a book about Alexander Hamilton and I'm to the part where he has the famous duel with Aaron Burr. That got me thinking about rivalry and nemesis. I then thought of the most famous example of a guy with a nemesis (outside of a comic book) and that would be the Duke of Wellington.
When we lived in London our flat was in a building called Apsley House, named after the more famous residence of the Dukes of Wellington. I visited the real Apsley House and was amazed to find a surprise waiting there. A colossal nude statue of Napoleon holding a gilded Nike (Greek myth kind, not swoosh kind) dominated the stairwell at the center of the house. (Nike's wings supposedly symbolized the fleeting nature of victory.)

This man caused Wellington nothing but grief. Why have a nude statue of your enemy staring at you every morning when you go downstairs to have your morning tea and crumpets?

Inspiration maybe?

I think Wellington knew that he owed a lot to Bonaparte. Would he have been as famous had he not had such a famous nemesis? There is a lesson here....whose statue is in your house?

Do you think they decorate him for Christmas...a little tinsel here and there? Perhaps some holly where a fig leaf should be?

over 40, in a bathing suit and on facebook

Photo: Catching Omega 3 in the Persian Gulf

Hey girls....I got a facebook account today and this is my profile pic...what do you think? Your mom in a bathing suit on facebook???

Now that I have your attention....the last 3 posts have had an very unfortunate postscript and that would be the words "0 comments"

Actually, this is just a threat....keep those comments coming .....or else.
Love, MOM

Only 16 more shopping days until Mother's Day

arabic lessons at traffic lights

Having lived so long overseas, I'm often asked what other languages I have picked up. Ummm...does the metric system count? Actually, I haven't figured that out yet either.

Having said that, I have picked up a few numbers from the car license plates and here is my entire repertoire of Arabic.

1 and 9 are pretty much the same,
2 is a backwards 7,
3 is a backwards 7 with a hiccup in the top line,
4 is a backwards 3,
5 is a slightly deformed 0,
6 is a 7,
7 is a V,
8 is an upside down V
and 0 is a dot (.) .

While Arabic letters are written right to left, the numbers are written left to right. Arabic magazines are read from the back cover to the front.

I get dyslexic just thinking about it.

I don't know who was at the meeting when it was decided English would be the international language but I'm pretty sure the Spanish were taking a siesta and the French another 3 hour lunch. Whoever it was, I thank them daily.

I'll be in Texas in 7 days.....can't wait

New Olympic Event

I haven't seen this in Abu Dhabi yet...but I'm sure it will catch on quickly.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzdBLF2T7nU
ps. don't try this in heels

Enjoy

This makes me laugh....but doesn't make me want this car
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkjtDh_Fbmw

lime green neon

Colors mean different things in different countries. For example, in the West white is the color of purity, weddings, etc., but in Asia it is the color of mourning. With that in mind, I'm determined to find out why the minarets on the mosques are lit up with lime green neon lights at night.

I actually googled the search words: lime green neon Islam.

Nothing came up???

Looks like I am going to have to figure this out on my own...
I know what lime green neon indicates in the West and it is NOT a house of worship.

I have a theory. Green is the color of "GO" and thus gives the "green light" to Allah to shower blessings on the worshipers.

I have another theory... the racket that comes out of these towers 5 times a day would turn anything green.

Any one else with ideas???

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0_vnon5owE for the green neon experience

Congratulations to Anonymous Chocolate Snob for correctly answering the question of why the movie 300 made me crave Belgian chocolate. See comments on previous blog.

The Empty-Nester-Expat-Wife-with-a-Maid Movie Review

Good :
Mr. Bean's Vacation - I laughed but no one else did. So maybe the Arabs are not ready for BEAN

Because I Said So - About a mother that interferes in her grown daughters' lives -Shocking!!! Actually, I got some new ideas.
Stranger than Fiction-nice twist but a little too much Dustin Hoffman in a swimsuit
The Painted Veil-British Costume drama...I was in heaven

Bad:

Breaking and Entering -De-pressing! Warning, sprinkle Prozac on your popcorn...you'll need it.

Babel - Brad Pitt looked old...I want my money back
300 - Okay, I could stretch my imagination enough to believe that Mrs. Leonidas had some special plants that she made lip gloss and mascara from. However, I couldn't get past how they got the giant rhino and elephants on those tiny boats. And where did they put the giant bags of peanuts to feed the giant elephants. Sorry girls, but those six-pack Spartan abs were digitally enhanced. While they were digitizing, seems they could have erased the smallpox vaccine scars on the arms of some of the Persians.

Question: Why did watching 300 make me hungry for Belgian chocolate?

Monday Morning Movie Club

The heat is returning and tennis and golf are wrapping up for the season. What is an empty-nester-expat-wife-with-a-maid supposed to do with the free time??? Go to the movies, that's what. Therefore, I've joined the Monday Morning Movie Club (MMMC). Seriously, it is a real group.
The movie-going experience here is very much like it is anywhere. They cut a few of the racy bits out and the ratings are more strict, but we get most of the same movies within a month of their US release. There are some Arabic movies and of course Bollywood always has a few showings, but Hollywood reigns supreme here.

The best part about the movies here is that you can UPGRADE. That's right. For a few extra dirhams you can be whisked behind the velvet ropes by your personal assistant. There you relax in the special Gold Class holding lounge and watch the plasma TV while your movie-butler takes your popcorn order. Then you are ushered into your cozy movie room with Lazy-Boy recliners and little tables for your food. You recline and swear you will never watch a movie in coach class again.
Coming up I will offer my movie reviews.

Comments Please

I've taken a couple of days off...thought the Rainbow Sheikh story might take a while to digest. I think we can say that is one instance where the pot of gold came before the "rainbow".

I can't believe it has been a month since I've started this therapy called blogging.
I must say that I thought I would run out of things to say by now. Thanks to the citizens of Abu Dhabi for providing more than enough material.
I've enjoyed the process of gathering my thoughts, being on the lookout for the next story and researching (that's right)"the facts".
When I started thinking about doing this, I read many blogs by many different people so I could get an idea of what on earth I was doing. I still read many of those blogs daily...my Favorites list is a mile long. Here is what I've observed....

-I'm very concerned about the amount of Ranger fans out there. Does Texas have another baseball team? I don't think so!! Go 'stros!!!!
-Blogging is a great way for many of our seniors to pass on their thoughts and wisdom while staying connected to what's new. I hope I'll be able join their ranks someday.
-I am struck by the insights and wisdom I find in blogs of people that are young enough to be my kids. I already know who is getting my vote for President in the year 2038.

I get travel ideas, book suggestions and sympathy from fellow Astros' fans....all for free on the Internet. Amazing. I would say I'm hooked.

One thing I've noticed that we bloggers have in common is that we love COMMENTS. It makes us feel like we are not talking to ourselves...not that that's a bad thing. I will not feel like you are strange if you write a comment below, and if you are a pervert then I will press the magic delete button.

For my male readership (that's you Dad)

Top photo - The entrance to Rainbow Palace

Middle photo - The Rainbow Sheikh on a road trip (notice he is wearing all black, I was expecting something more... well... colorful)

Bottom photo - Yes this is a globe on wheels...one of the Rainbow Sheikh's many vehicles.

Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) had a rule that a man could only have 4 wives at any one time, but he never said anything about how many cars you could have. That is very good news for my favorite sheikh, Hamad bin Hamdan al Nahyan. He has a Mercedes every color of the rainbow and that is why he is called the Rainbow Sheikh. When he was making marriage plans, Mercedes shut down their regular production line just to ensure his car order was accommodated.

(I wonder if he has a wife in every color too?)

Eventually, he began building his own cars. Inside his garage is the world's largest truck, an enormous Dodge Power Wagon. It is a four-times full-scale model that actually runs. There are four bedrooms, six bathrooms, a kitchen, and a large living area inside, making it the largest motor home in the world. Outside, he keeps an even larger trailer home, officially the world's largest, according to the "Guinness Book of World Records." It's a sphere with the earth painted on it, containing eight bedrooms and nine bathrooms.


The video below explores a few of Hamad's toys. Words cannot describe the colors of these rainbows...
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1330723165934334169

It is 23 minutes long and the Rainbow Sheikh part is about halfway in at 10:30 minutes. If you can't get this to load, go to Google and type in "Jeremy Clarkson - Dubai" and it should come up.

The Bill Gates of Cities

Top picture: Diwan of Crown Prince where he holds court twice a week
Middle picture: H.H. Lt. General Sheikh Mohammed bin Zayed Al Nahyan, Deputy Crown Prince of Abu Dhabi and Chief of Staff of the UAE Armed Forces (this is his full name and is always referred to as such)
Bottom picture: View of Abu Dhabi with Emirates Palace in foreground

In the March 19th issue of Fortune there was an article titled, "The Richest City in the World and no,it's not Dubai"

(I'm over 40 and have no idea how to add a link ...you'll have to look it up )

We are sitting of 1/10th of the World's oil supply and that means each citizen has more money than Oprah.

It talks about the different families that run Dubai and Abu Dhabi. In Dubai, Sheikh Mo of the Maktoum clan is in charge.
In Abu Dhabi, the Nahyans are in charge.
When Zayed died a few years ago, the power in Abu Dhabi went to 2 of his 19 sons.
His oldest son Kalifa took over as Sheikh. For a guy that doesn't miss a happy hour he is actually known to be kind of grumpy. That is probably because he wasn't daddy's favorite.
Zayed's favorite son, Mohammed ("do not even think of calling me Sheikh Mo"), became Crown Prince. He is a Sandhurst-trained fighter pilot and even flies his own helicopter.
Mohammed's job seems to be to hold court at his diwan. Men come to him with their problems and grievances and he deals with them. Then he gets in his helicopter and buzzes our building a few times.
His mother was Zayed's favorite wife and she actually owns the building that we live in. I was hoping that would get us invited to Easter Brunch at the Palace.

If I was able to meet just one Sheikh it wouldn't be Neighbor Mohammed, Grumpy Kalifa or Dubai Mo. I will tell you who my favorite sheikh is in the next blog.

Mah Jongg on the moon

How do they celebrate Easter in Abu Dhabi? There were just as many celebrations on Easter Sunday as there were for the Prophet's (PBUH) Birthday....zero! Someone mentioned that the US Embassy was closed and I asked why, then I remembered it was Easter. It isn't even on our radar over here. David went to work and I went to Mah Jongg as we usually do on a Sunday.
I've become very fond of my Mah Jongg mornings. I am one of only two Americans in a group of Aussies, Kiwis, Brits and Scots. I'm known as "American Juli." When I'm in Texas I'm from Houston...when I'm in other states, I'm from Texas...when I'm in other countries, I'm an American. My identity keeps zooming out the further I get from home. I guess if I ever get to the moon, I'll be "Earthling Juli".
My Mah Jongg group is full of seasoned ex-pat wives with stories of postings in exotic far-away places. (They don't consider Abu Dhabi that exotic or that far away) One is married to the pilot that flies the Royal Family's private jet. I thought I could get some good juicy blogging tidbits from her, but alas, pilots have to sign a confidentiality agreement. Shame!!! I guess I'll just have to keep making up stuff then.

Happy 22nd Birthday Christie

Being an ex-pat is an extraordinary experience and I've been trying to point this out on my blog. However, there is downside when you live so far from family and friends. Special events often come up that we have to miss. This Sunday, our oldest daughter turns 22 and we are so glad she has grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, a sister and a boyfriend to celebrate with. She is in such good hands that we will try to keep our own pity party very short.
To Christie: For the first time in your life, your birthday falls on Easter Sunday. I think this means you will be especially blessed this year. We love you.

Red Bull gives you wings, but chicken pox doesn't give you bird flu

Everything may be bigger in Texas, but in the UAE they are all about speed. They race anything and everything from camels to Formula 1. NASCAR has yet to catch on and it may be too much for this conservative nation (and vice versa), but anything else goes. This weekend we went to the beach and watched the Red Bull Air Race. Kind of like barrel racing at the rodeo only without horses or glittery cowgirls. Camel racing is over for the season so I'll have to wait until next year for my chance to see this very unique sport.

I was doing my 5 minute scan of the Gulf News when the words "bird flu" caught my eye. In this part of the world, this is something everyone takes very seriously. Seems there was a case of bird flu reported to the Bird Flu hot line last week. The alarm was raised and an investigation took place. A man from India had been to the doctor and had been diagnosed with chicken pox. He had never heard of this disease but he knew that a chicken was bird and so concluded that he must have bird flu. Everyone at the Bird Flu Crisis center had a good laugh and a big sigh of relief.

Gulf News

The Gulf News devotes 90% of it's space to selling real estate and the rest can be read in about 5 minutes. When you want to see what the Sheikh of Dubai is up to or what is the latest Bollywood gossip, the the Gulf News is for you. Six days out of seven, Sheikh Mohammed ("just call me Sheikh Mo") of Dubai is on the front page. His horses always seem to win the races, his kids always seem to win medals at the sporting events, and he is loving the limelight. He is Donald Trump, King Tut and Bill Clinton rolled into one and topped with a desert headdress. You gotta love him.

Censored

You don't really appreciate freedom of speech until it is gone. The UAE is one of the more liberal Middle Eastern countries, but that doesn't mean you can surf the web with abandon.
You may think this is just to keep the porn out and that is true. We also cannot access Christian sites, Israeli sites or even buy a swim suit online. There are times when this makes my blue eyes "see red". Next I'll talk about our local newpaper, the Gulf News.

Sharpie Tube-Tops

One of my rituals, that I've developed after living overseas for 10 years, is going to the newsagent and getting a Sunday Times from London. They are usually flown in and therefore do not arrive until Monday morning. I usually have to pay about $10 for one. I know I can read it online for free but there is just something about having the actual thing that makes it worth every penny. I am doing the same thing here in Abu Dhabi, but the paper doesn't arrive on the stands until Tues. Why, you might ask if you have blue eyes. It became obvious once I looked inside. All the girls in perfume and lingerie ads that had little too much skin showing, were marked through with a black marker. Someone has the job of taking every foreign publication and marking through anything offensive. Sometimes they just do a one-line tube top, sometimes a full mark out. It certainly makes you more aware that what we find acceptable in the West is completely inappropriate here. (Either that or black tube tops are in fashion.) I'll be writing more on censorship and modesty in future posts....

ps. we now own a home in Colleyville complete with pond and goldfish.

Happy Birthday Prophet Mohamed (PBUH)

Okay, looks like the April fools joke was on me.
I was going to postpone the Prophet Blog until today, because I assumed there would be an article in the newspaper about his birthday. I could do a little cuttin'and pastin' and viola...a blog....but there was nothing...nada...zilch. No decorations, caroling or even a white sale down at the bazaar.
I now have to do research on my own. Do you know how many websites there are about the Prophet???? The only pictures I could find were Danish and I thought I'd better not go there.

Here is what I know:

-He was born on April 20 in AD 571
-the Islamic calendar begins when Mohamed went from Mecca to Medina, AD 622
-the Islamic calendar is lunar, so next year his birthday will be in June or something
-there are 354 days in an Islamic year
-it is the year 1428

-Muslims believe that their Allah is the same God that occurs in the Bible and Torah
-they revere Moses and Jesus as prophets, but believe they didn't have "complete possession of the divine Message". (something in common with the Mormons perhaps)

-sometimes Muslim males are named Jesus (Eisa)...interesting
-all the rest of the Muslim males are named Mohamed

-when you write "Prophet Mohamed" you should always put "peace be upon him" afterwards. Most people get lazy and just abbreviate "PBUH".

-THEY DON'T GET TOO WORKED UP OVER CELEBRATING HIS BIRTHDAY


ps. Go Astros and Roy O. (peace be upon him too)

For Laura B

This is for you, Laura B. You requested a picture of me out and about doing my daily routine. In this photo I'm just waiting for my camel to get saddled up, then off I go to the palace for Buncos with the harem.


You also win the prize for best cama name.....Camaleon....very clever. Thanks for taking time out from Oprah to make all the comments....they are much appreciated.