Post-it Notes

There is one thing I must have for my moves. I cannot move without Post-it Notes. I have put one on everything we own. There is a Post-it for Sea Shipment to Nigeria, a Post-it for Sea Shipment to storage in Texas and a Post-it for Air Shipments to Nigeria. Canned goods have Post-its, toilet paper has a Post-it...if you sit still long enough, you too will have a Post-it. I like hot pink Post-its...they can not be ignored. Having said that, I can guarantee that there will be an item show up in Nigeria with a bright pink Post-it with "Houston Storage" written on it in wide black sharpie.
Other things that are handy to have for international moves are a moving crew of 4 guys to actually do all the work, a sofa for me to sit on while I supervise my crew and some chocolate bon bons to keep up my morale. Now where did I put my Post-its??

My Pantry is a Warhol Painting

For most of our international moves, we have not been able to bring food with us; however, a move to Africa is the exception. We are told to bring pretty much everything we need for a full year and today was a good day for buying in bulk. I bought obscene amounts of detergent, cream of mushroom soup, printer paper, coffee filters etc. The Velveeta boat must have just unloaded here in Abu Dhabi because the shelves were overflowing with the golden bricks and that was a glorious sight.
I was able to figure out how many pounds of Tide we needed by using a complicated secret algebraic equation that equaled my weight at the end of freshman year....but Tide doesn't expire. A year's supply of Velveeta....hmmm...how much is that? What if I get too greedy and buy too much Velveeta and it expires and I have to throw it away? It is actually like gold and if I'm going to make queso for you in Africa, you have to be pretty special. Just like some people get out their 100 year old brandy for special occasions....that is how I feel about my Velveeta. What if I don't buy enough...can I get it on the black market? Anyway, what if I can't get tortilla chips to dip in the queso? My head is spinning as I come to the ugly reality of how much Velveeta I eat in year....you could build a large wall with my year's supply of Velveeta bricks. Walls of Velveeta and mountains of Tide...this is what packing for Africa looks like.

Anatomy of a move

When I started this blog, I had already settled in here in Abu Dhabi and therefore did not think to share our international moving experiences. I usually like to block those out of my mind as soon as they are over. For this move I will try to document the process to give you an idea of what it takes to move around the world.

It always begins with denial ...
D- Guess what, we are moving to Nigeria
J- That's nice dear. I'm going to the store now, would you like me to pick up anything while I'm out?

one hour to one month later
J - Did you say Nigeria?
D - yes and your physical and vaccination appointment is tomorrow.

After 4 shots, 3 vials of blood and a perscription for a year's supply of malaria pills, denial is still hanging in there

6 weeks later - packing begins - denial starts to be replaced by reality
J- I think I might really be moving to Nigeria
D- Thats right, the packers come tomorrow and you need to write down everything we own and put a value on it.

J- What would you say is the value of your baseball hat collection

D- Priceless

J- I was thinking more around the $5 range...I like to round up the amounts

5 hours later-

J-We have too much stuff. I think I'll get rid of everything a become a minimalist.

D- Don't touch those hats

To Be Continued....

On the Road Again

sing it Willie

When I met my husband 27 years ago, I remember being very impressed by the fact that he owned two suits. I thought, WOW...this guy is really going places. WAS I EVER RIGHT!!! We are in now in the process of packing for a move to Lagos, Nigeria. This will be our 20th move and our 7th country.

If the soundtrack of my life is "On the Road Again", then the Greek myth of my life would have to be Sisyphus. The man is sentenced to an eternity of rolling a rock up a hill only to have it roll back down again. Up the hill, down the hill...this describes the expat wife very well. We pack, we unpack, we pack we unpack. But here the similarities end. You see Sisyphus' task is boring and monotonous, while the expat life is not. I think that is why we like to watch bull riding...it is similar to some of our life experences....what a ride.

Happy Birthday Special D

This is a special message to a special man who doesn't like to be mentioned or pictured in any of my blogs. His boss is in town on his special day, so I thought he needed a blog posting to boost his spirits. I do want to mention that D's wife got up at 4:30 am (before the sunrise call to prayer I might add) and fixed the Birthday Boy a nice breakfast. This is now documented in cyberspace, so therefore cannot be disputed if the existance of early morning breakfast making is ever called into question.
Hope you have a great day....Love you

Ramadan - Bah Humbug

Every holiday needs a Scrooge, and I'm here to offer my services as the Scrooge of Ramadan. I think even Tiny Tim couldn't get me excited about this Holy Month of fasting and Starbucks' closings. The ghosts can come and go, but I'm still saying "Bah Humbug" to not being able to chew gum in public. Is it just me, or is the Ghost of Christmas Past following me... oh wait, no it's just my neighbor. It's so confusing sometimes. Soon I will be flying out of the Ramadan zone to a land where people chew between the hours of 4:30 am and 6:30 pm. A birthday in London to be followed by 6 weeks in Texas. When I get back we will discuss the different types of local dress (dishdash, abaya etc) and finish up that last Islamic pillar, the pilgrimage to Mecca (Hajj).

Saudi Arabia Here I Come

The Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia and I have much in common

(when it comes to celebrating birthdays)

Saudi Arabia can always be counted on to put a wet blanket on any party you might be thinking about and last month the Grand Mufti went as far as to ban birthdays. This may seem horrible to some, but I say..."just in time". To those of us who may be turning 50 this year (Madonna are you listening), what a great place to be when that milestone hits.

The Grand Mufti can extinguish all the flames on my birthday cake...we can just pretend it never happened and I put on my burka and go on my way smiling under my veil
because I'll be 49 forever.

Shake, Rattle and Snore

I never thought I'd ever experience an earthquake, but today Abu Dhabi got the aftershocks of an Iranian one of magnitude 6.1. People flooded the streets of Dubai and Abu Dhabi when their buildings started to shake. Most of the people reported that they felt very dizzy, but since it is Ramadan and many are fasting, they didn't know if it was the earthquake or hunger.

So what was it like to be in an earthquake??? Well, I'm not fasting so I'm pretty sure it wasn't like being hungry. Actually, it was naptime back in the high rise...so I have no idea what it was like. I do know, however, if I had been awake it would have made this blog much more exciting.

Censorship's new look for Fall '08

BEFORE

AFTER

Those folks at the censorship bureau are always looking for new ways to stay progressive. They have just launched a new look for their censorship block. It is so much nicer to be denied access to internet sites with this new updated look don't you think?

Brave Visitors

Even though Iraq is hundreds of miles away, most people envision me living in downtown Baghdad and that mental image has a way of curtailing visitors. Luckily, a dear friend of mine and her daughter decided to risk life and limb make the perilous journey to the Middle East for a visit. Their first impressions were that it looked like Florida and that 112F was really, really hot. We had a fun time sightseeing, riding camels, bashing sand dunes and wearing burkas. (The verdict on the burkas were "they are hot, yet slimming.")

No trip to the UAE is complete without seeing Dubai and we were able to squeeze in 2 days there. Only in Dubai can you spend the morning baking on the beach and the afternoon freezing on the ski slopes of the Mall of the Emirates. All that and we were still back in Abu Dhabi by dinnertime.

I think the trip opened their eyes to a Middle East that they were not expecting; a region with a strange mix of modern and traditional without a terrorist in sight. I'm happy to say that they weren't kidnapped once and the most frightening thing they had to endure was eating my cooking. Thanks for coming you two!!!

Random act of Ramadan

Last night at the mall, I witnessed a random act of kindness. A man sneezed and an Emirate man said "bless you." This random act of kindness can only mean one thing...Ramadan has begun. A text message from the phone company a few minutes later wishes us "Ramadan Kareem" and verifies our thoughts...a new moon has been sighted. Now everyone starts their fast and becomes nice. Nice and hungry.

David left this morning with his thermos of coffee to be hidden in his desk and granola bars to snack on behind closed doors. I had to sit through my mani/pedi w/o my green tea. The holy month of Ramadan is already getting on my nerves.

A Date...with Jihad

This is the time of year when the date palms are full of dates. Last week was the date festival in Al Ain complete with a date beauty contest and the Guiness Book of World Records for the largest plate of dates. The trees around town have bags attached to them to keep the dates from dropping or getting eaten by birds. These are fresh dates and need to be dried before they are what we are used to.

Judges at the date beauty contest...I think they just found Miss Congeniality...

Guiness Book of World Records for world's largest plate of dates....

Okay, enough of that...back here in Abu Dhabi I've got bigger things to worry about. I called to make a hair appointment and I was told that my usual hairdresser, Ede, has gone back to Lebanon. "No problem" they tell me because they can book me in with his replacement, Jihad. Thats right, his name is Jihad. I asked the receptionist to spell it....JIHAD. I was hoping that it was spelled with a G or with two DD's or something. Who would name their child Jihad. Maybe it is a nickname...but then that is worse isn't it? Usually nick names are indicative of something you are good at. I'm having enough bad hair days, so do I really want Holy War on top of my head? What do you think dear readers? Should I keep my appointment with Jihad?

ps. Note to Hollywood...next time you need a name for an evil villan bent on world domination...take some inspiration from the Lady of the Desert Salon in Abu Dhabi ...name him Jihad...and give him a really bad hair-do

Beware of Road Surprizes

The driving in Abu Dhabi defies words...here are some pictures to help you understand....

Ships of the Desert

On weekends we like to take drives in the desert and my favorite thing to do is camel spotting. It is a hobby similar to bird watching only you don't need binoculars and they don't have nests but sometimes you get lucky and see one in flight....

Happy Birthday Greg

In just a few months, I will have my very own son-in-law and I couldn't be happier. I have loved being the mother of two girls, but have always wondered what it would have been like to have a son. Having this kind of son is great...he comes already fully grown, educated and employed ...and he fixes stuff. His parents did a great job with him and we get to share in the benefits.

Greg, you are entering an exciting new chapter in your life and we are so glad we get to be a part of that. Best wishes for a great day.

Love,

Your Future Mother-in-Law

Our Staycation Part 2

Fast forward through the afternoon spa treatments, romantic dinner and steamy walk on the beach. (When I say "steamy", I mean it was still 110F, 80% humidity at 10:00 pm...there was no Beach Brouhaha going on at the palace) We wake the next morning refreshed after a good night's sleep on our comfy bed and pillows that we chose from our pillow menu. (I'm not making this up)

Now I decide it is time for a bike ride to see the pool. (The reason we have 26 years of marriage under our belts is because I have a very sweet husband that has learned the secret to marital happiness...two little words "yes dear". ) We get our bikes from the bike butler and take off for what seems like a ride on the face of the sun. 10 minutes and stage 5 skin cancer later, we are back.

Enough of that...time for a tour of the VIP suites. This is where the famous people who do not rule countries stay. The Rulers' Suites were off limits, but here is what we saw.

The elevator ride... They misspelled Mezzanine and Rulers is possesive and therefore should have an apostrophe. Do you think Justin Timberlake noticed? This 7 star hotel could be down to just 6 stars if they keep this up. The suite where Justin Timberlake stayed
We didn't eat here but JT did...

VIP Prayer Mats

Not our bathroom....

Celebrities only get silver sinks....for gold ones you have to rule a country. You'll have to try a little harder Justin.

Now it is time to go home. It has been a fun 24 hours of luxury, but now I'm craving a peanut butter sandwich and a lamp that can be turned on with a switch....I will miss my butlers though.

Our Staycation

To celebrate our anniversary, we thought "why get on a plane and and go somewhere when we have the world's most expensive hotel just around the corner?" We decided to get in our car and drive 2 blocks to the Emirates Palace and a have the 7 star experience for ourselves. I always think it is a good idea to get out and meet the neighbors anyway.

I have never stayed at a 7 star hotel so I wasn't sure what to expect. This is a hotel that changes colors every few minutes to reflect the many colors of the desert. (A little trick that was blantantly stolen from the Burj al Arab in Dubai). Did it change moods too?

We pull up and are greeted with Arabic coffee and flowers. This place is huge!!! We are shown to our room by our own private guide. I think the walk to our room is actually further than the drive from our apartment. Maybe we should have been greeted with trail mix and a sherpa.

We like to take the Rolls when we go on trips...

The room is on the ground floor as requested. When you live on the 11th floor of a high rise, it is very novel to be able to see grass and trees and to open a door and touch terra firma.

We had a few minutes to check out the free stuff in the room before our own private butler arrived with fresh orange juice....I'm really liking this 7 star service. 5 minutes after he leaves, there is another knock on the door it is another butler with fresh squeezed orange juice. Seems there was some butler confusion. Too many butlers??? You won't hear me complaining.

We are shown the giant blackberry-like contraption that controls everything like a genie granting wishes. Do you want to watch TV, rub the lamp...do you want to turn on a light, consult the genie...do you want the light to be on 10%, 30%, 50%,73.5%???? Okay, now I'm getting a little stressed out.

We leave and go get some coffee and listen to harp music and I notice that my cappuccino foam is sparkling. "Waiter, there in some bling in my coffee". I'm told that these are gold shavings and perfectly edible. This probably explains why this cup of coffee costs $10....eat your heart out Starbucks.

To be continued.....